Here We Go Again!

            It is once again the night before school starts.  This will be the eighteenth time I’ve done a first day of school as a teacher, and I have a few thoughts.

            I am blessed to be a teacher.  I truly feel that God has called me to this profession.  Just as God called my husband to be a minister, I feel God called me to work with youth through the public school system.  Because I have followed God’s call in this profession, I feel He continues to bless me.  I do have hard days.  There are even some days I may want to quit.  But when I seriously think about other professions, I know I am where I am supposed to be.

            I am not the only one who thinks summer moved too fast.  I know when students come back tomorrow they will be more interested in what everyone did over the summer than how to read a passage of literature and analyze it.  If I’m ever going to be able to have that conversation, I must make a personal connection.  I need to build quality teacher/student relationships so we can work together to learn for the next 180 school days.

            Behind each student is a family.  Some of those families look a lot like mine: two parents, siblings, pets, middle class, etc.  Some of those families look nothing like I’ve ever experienced.  I must remember that some of these kids are coming from homes where there is no electricity on a regular basis or food every meal or even a stable roof over their head every night.  They may only be at school because it’s a safer place than home.  I must no judge but instead be ready to meet them where they are.

            I also have a family that is heading back to school and routines.  We need to be proactive in spending time together.  I need to remember that they still need me even when I am weary from my day.  I need to remember that they are more important than anything!

            As I look forward to tomorrow, here is my prayer.

            Dear Lord,

            Bless this school year.  Bless the 110 students you have entrusted to my care for this year.  Bless the parents and extended families who are associated with those students.  Bless the administrators who direct the teachers in making good decisions for these students.  And, dear Lord, please bless my own family.  Take care of them while they go to their own classrooms and their own jobs.  Bring us together in the evenings and weekends to continue to grow as a family and to grow in your grace.

            Amen.

Voices in My Head

                I grew up in a conservative, Christian, southern, strict, loving home.  There were times that one or the other parent would say something that I thought was just ridiculous.  I mean, they were old.  Right?  I remember thinking many times, “I’ll never say that to my child.”  Admit it.  We’ve all said that.  

 

                And then it happens.

                My son got his driver’s license this past year.  I remember telling him very soon after that banner day, “If you get a ticket, you’ll have to pay for it.”  Oh wait a minute!  Where’s my dad?  I just know that was his voice saying that!  But it was just the two of us.

                I remember once in my young adult life I shared with my mom some big bill I had to pay.  I had the money to pay it, but I was aggravated that I couldn’t spend that money on something a little more glamorous than a bill.  My mom said, “Well, at least you have the money to pay.”  Several years later, my husband and I had set some money aside only to have to spend it on an unexpected expense.  I heard a voice in the room say, “Well, at least you have the money to pay.”    Yes, I was channeling my mother this time.  I told her about it later.  Her response?  “Hey, you actually do listen to what I say.”  Yes, Mom, I do. 

                I think some of the most blessed conversations I had with my parents (and still have) are about God.  Being raised in the church gave a lot of openings to God being a part of the conversation.  It is that strong faith that they helped nurture that allows me to talk with my own children about God.  Those are the voices that I love to hear guiding me as I talk with my sons about what a great God we serve.

                I have to admit, though, that the best stories are when their voices came back to haunt them.  One of the things my dad said when something was broken or spilled was, “If you were watching what you were doing, that wouldn’t have happened.”  When my older brother brought home his soon-to-be fiancé to meet the family, my mom cooked a dinner any southerner would be proud to eat.  As we were getting things on the table, my dad began pouring tea.  Unfortunately, he spilled a glass.  I quickly said, “If you were watching what you were doing, that wouldn’t have happened.”  Both of my brothers’ jaws dropped and my dad just gave me “that look” and then continued cleaning.  When I went to tell him goodnight that evening, I said, “I’m sorry.”  He just grinned and said, “No you’re not.”  I admitted I’d been waiting a LONG time to be able to tell him that, and I figured I might not get in trouble with company.

                Another time my mom was telling me about some medical bill that they had to pay.  It was pretty large.  Since they are both retired, I was afraid she was telling me this because it was a financial burden.  So I asked if they had the money to pay it.  “Oh yeah, we have it.  I just didn’t want to spend it on that.”  I just calmly smiled and said, “Well, at least you have the money to pay.” 

                Yes, mom.  I really do listen.

               

"I Love My Life!"

               When Brandon was in kindergarten, we lived in Broken Bow, OK.  It was a small town where you interacted with many more people than you ever do in a big city.  One day, his teacher told me how Brandon just brightened her day.  She said he had a big smile on his face as he announced, “I LOVE MY LIFE!” 

                How easy it is for someone so young to declare that they love their life.  I mean how hard can it be?  They have everything handed to them.  They spend time with friends.  They play with toys and watch TV. Their hardest decision is which color to use for their picture. 

                Lately I’ve been thinking of Brandon’s excitement and exclamation.  I wondered if I could say, “I love my life” and mean it.  So I started looking at my life and analyzing it (something I’m sure Brandon didn’t do before he made his exclamation). 

First, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Does that mean every day is flowers and butterflies?  No, but I know my life is His and He is looking out for me and loves me with an unconditional love.  Second, I’ve been married for 22 years to an amazing husband.  Kevin has seen the best and the worst in me and still loves me every single day.  He does so much for our family and even does the little things just to make my day.  I have two awesome sons.  I get compliments on both of them all the time.  Brandon is a fine Christian young man that has a heart for God and people.  Ryan is young Christian who loves everyone and makes us laugh every day.  I have a job that I can still say I love doing.  Teaching young people is my calling in life.  Yes, we also have a house and the stuff that goes in it.  And I feel blessed beyond measure with what God has entrusted us.  I have friends that continually help me on this road of life and make me a better person.

                Does all this mean, however, that I never worry or have bad days?  Absolutely not.  Things break down.  Bills come due sooner than we need them to.  Sometimes my husband and I have differing opinions on what should be done and how.  I think all parents have had days that they wish they could trade their kids in for someone else’s.  We have had those bad days.  We will have those bad days again.  

However, is that a reason to hate life and live in the lows?  NO!  Look at the good around you!  Look at the blessings God has given!  Take a deep breath and realize what a life you have.

I know I will endeavor to do a better job at this.  Even on the down days that I know will come, I will do my best to look out and proclaim with joyful abandon, “I LOVE MY LIFE!”

               

Inspiration

                I tend to procrastinate in some areas of my life.  I will get the job done…eventually.  I tend to do the jobs that involve other people first and then leave the things that personally affect me to the end.  Then, of course, I can come up with many excuses not to work on those things.

                Recently, I was talking to my parents as I do most Saturdays.  They live in Louisiana, and I’m in Oklahoma.  They look forward to my call, and I look forward to seeing how their week went.  You see, my dad has had many health issues over the years.  He has congestive heart failure and has been fighting prostate cancer for several years.  Earlier this year, he had gotten pretty weak. He was too weak to walk, so my mom, the ever faithful love of his life, would pull him in a chair where he needed to go.  He was able to get some home health visits and started some therapy.  He started getting stronger.  Then a bout with extra fluid caused a setback.  After taking care of that, he once again started progressing. 

                Mom purchased an elliptical that sits on the floor while he sits in his chair and pedals.  The therapist said he should  work his way up to 20 minutes a day.  It didn’t take him long before he was able to do the full 20 minutes.  While we were on the phone this past week, he did 25 minutes!  My dad!  The man who is currently battling bad health conditions exercised for 25 minutes!  Now I’m not saying he’s ready to run a marathon, but he is pushing himself to get stronger.  A benefit of this is his outlook on everything.  He smiles more and laughs more because he feels better.

                Now you may be wondering what that story has to do with me procrastinating.  Well, I am often heard saying that during the school year, I’m too busy to exercise.  This summer, I just put it off.  I felt if I couldn’t do a full 30 minutes to an hour of something then there was no use to start.  Then I talked to my dad.  If he can do it, so can I.  Today I started on the treadmill.  I didn’t win an award for speed or distance, but I started.  And I will continue.  When I feel the arms of life pulling at me to put it off, I will think of my dad.  Thanks, Dad, for being my inspiration!

I'll Pray for You

               The topic of prayer has been on my mind lately.  How often do we tell someone who is going through a rough patch, “I’ll pray for you”?  Isn’t that the right response as a Christian?  But then, how often do we follow through with that prayer?

                If I’m honest with myself, I say that with every intention of praying diligently for that person.  I usually do send up a quick prayer after our conversation for their specific request, but then I may or may not pray about that specific request again.  So is that enough?

                In our first pastorate, there was a lady named Goldie.  Yes, Goldie.  She was an elderly lady who had seen a lot in life.  We talked about prayer one day, and this is what she told me.  You only have to ask God once.  If you give it to God, it’s His.  He doesn’t need to be reminded repeatedly because he doesn’t forget.  So pray and leave it alone.

                Wow! Pray and leave it alone?  You mean I don’t have to ask Him every day until He answers prayers MY way?  Oh wait a minute.  Was that a Freudian slip?  Am I praying continually because he hasn’t answered it MY way?  Maybe He has answered it.  Maybe the answer is no or wait, and I’m still waiting on his yes. 

                I don’t know that there is one way to pray.  I do know if I’ve taken something back that I can’t handle, I need to leave it at His feet again.  I also know, however, that God’s memory is perfect.  He doesn’t need me to keep reminding him of how I want the prayer answered.

                Back to my first question, though.  How often do we tell people we will pray for them, and do we actually do it?  I will be a woman of my word.  If you ask me to pray about something, I will.  I will take your petition to God’s throne and leave it with him.  I will also pray that He gives you peace about the situation until the answer is clear.  As you come to my mind, I will send up more prayers that God’s presence will be felt in your life.  I will pray for you! 

To Have a Pet or Not Have a Pet? That is the Question.

                Yesterday Ryan got on a tangent about having a pet.  This came on the heels of his “first pet,” a grasshopper, dying.  The only reason he had that was it was crawling across my laptop while I was working.  I nearly screamed but then caught it in a plastic container so he could see it.  He wanted to keep it, but we didn’t feed it.  I know, I know.  I should have fed the grasshopper.

                Several days before he had asked, “Mom, if you HAD to have a pet, what would you want?”  I told him if I HAD to have one, I would probably want a small dog.  He turned that into mom wants a small dog.  However, we have had these discussions before.  You see, I don’t want a pet.  We’ve tried having pets.

                I had fish in college.  They were harmless, except when you had to clean the bowl.  I didn’t like that. 

                Then Kevin and I decided to adopt a cat when we moved to our first pastorate.  We had decided to put off having kids for a little while, so we adopted Rev. Ike to move into the parsonage with us.  (Yes, that was his name at the shelter.)  Not long after we adopted him, I got pregnant.  When Brandon came along, I didn’t want the cat anywhere near the baby.  I didn’t care if they were old wives tales, I wasn’t taking any chances.  I had to chase that cat everywhere trying to get it into the laundry room where it had food and toys and such.  But we decided that was no life for a cat, so we gave it to one of Kevin’s cousins.

                During our second pastorate, a vet attended our church and said he had a dog I should come see.  He said if he couldn’t find a home, it would have to take a walk over the rainbow bridge.  I looked, and I fell in love.  There were actually two, a brother and a sister.  That day they came home with us.  We named the girl Happy.  She was very happy to come home with me. (She even put her head on my shoulder as I drove her home.)  We named the boy Lucky because he was just lucky I took two dogs.  Then it began.  Not only did they sleep all day and bark all night, but they started digging holes.  Now even I know that dogs dig.  But these dogs were DIGGING!  I mentioned it to the vet, and he just said that’s what dogs do.  Then he came by the house.  Even he was surprised at the size of the holes in our backyard.  I told those silly dogs they were digging their own graves because they were deep enough for me to push them in and cover them up.  So the dogs had to go. 

                We did fish again for a little while.  I don’t think any of us were overly crazy about them, though.

                Now we fast forward to several years later.  Ryan wants a pet.  And he wants one now!  In fact, we had to finally tell him to not mention the word pet or animal again yesterday.  He was over the top!

                So what do we do?  Neither Kevin nor I really want an inside pet.  Our yard isn’t huge, but we do have a small garden, so we don’t want something that’s going to dig it up.  Does every kid NEED a pet?  Are we denying him something that will send him to therapy in future years?  Or is this just another tangent of a seven-year-old?

                What do you think? 

                P.S. Before you start making suggestions about exotic things or birds or gerbils, the answer is no.  J

I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream for Ice Cream

I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream for Ice Cream

                The other day I had scheduled a play date for my seven-year-old.  The other mom had wanted to get together to chat, so we planned to meet at a local restaurant with a play area.  The kids could play, and we could chat.  Well, I must have had an early senior moment because I just thought I had scheduled the date.  I had scheduled it in my head while we were on vacation but was going to check the calendar when I got back.  I never sent her the final okay message.  So we show up, Ryan starts playing, and then I check my messages and realize we had never confirmed.   I sent her a message and we scheduled for later in the week.  After telling my son my mistake, I told him he could play for a while anyway.

                When we got in the van, Ryan told me he was very sad about missing out on the play date.  I assured him it would happen later in the week and apologized for the mix-up.  I then heard him say, “Maybe we could go to Braums or Pink Swirls.  Ice cream would make me feel better.”  I quickly said, “We don’t turn to food to make us feel better.”  When asked why, I said it wasn’t a healthy way to live.

                Ugh!
                Double Ugh!

                This was an issue that I’ve been struggling with most of my life!  And my son just made me state the truth!  Out loud!  Now what?  My son never forgets anything.  So I sure can’t use this as a reason to go anywhere with him again.   What’s going to happen the next time I’m sad, or mad, or feeling down?  I have often said to myself, “I deserve this.  It’s been a rough day, and I made it!  I deserve a reward!”  I’ve even done the reverse.  “I’m so happy; I’m going to celebrate with a ___!” (Fill that blank in with whatever my recent craving had been). 

                But now I have told my son that doing that isn’t the healthy way to deal with our emotions.  I shouldn’t tell him one thing and live another.  I don’t know when the next rough patch will hit or when I’m going to be beyond happy and feel I deserve a treat.  However, I do know that my son’s words will forever be in the back of my mind, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll turn to my family and friends for the encouragement, support, and praise that I need.