Lessons from Home 

            Four and a half weeks ago, my sweet daddy had a flare up of his congestive heart failure and was taken to the hospital in the middle of the night.  That led to a three week stay between the hospital and a skilled care facility to get strong enough to come home.  I kept asking if I needed to come home, but my mama said she would need more help when she brought him home.  So I waited. 

            I’ve been at home with them almost two weeks now.  I count it a blessing to be able to take the days off work and for my own family understanding that I’m needed here for a couple of weeks.  I thought I’d share a few lessons from home as an adult child helping out the parents.

 1.   There is no schedule.  Well, I guess there are points in the day that have a schedule.  We know when the various therapists are coming in, but that’s about it.  When we were growing up, daddy had to get up at 4:30 a.m. to go to work, so we were in bed or close to it at 9:00 p.m.  Since no one has to get up at a certain time now, it may be midnight or after before the parents go to bed.  Of course, if the therapist is coming in the morning, there may or may not be sleeping in.  You want to know when meals are served?  Whenever.  They make up names for the times that meals are served.  They’ve always called the midday meal dinner and the evening meal supper.  There is now a dupper.  It’s kind of like brunch since it combines two meals, but it’s around 3:00 or so.  Retired people have a relaxed time schedule.  This girl who lives by a schedule has had to learn to just go with the flow.  

2.  Staying up late makes us all a little silly.  We get tickled at the silliest things, and when mom and I both start laughing, we BOTH snort!  Of course, that makes us laugh even harder.

3.  Be careful.  I’ve been running errands for mom and dad just about every day.  Every time I leave, they both tell me, “Be careful.”  Dad said something about always telling me that, but I said, “I have a 16-year-old who drives now.  I get it.  You can tell me to be careful all you want.” 

4.  Love is in the air.  My dad is 83 and my mom is 71.  They have been married for 52 years.  They still look at each other and say, “I love you” many times throughout the day. 

5.  All Wal-mart stores are not created equal.  I know this isn’t really a “home” lesson, but I have been in 3 different large Wal-mart stores and 3 Neighborhood Markets.  They are not all laid out the same. 

6.  Shopping is harder than it looks.  I am a people pleaser.  I want to make sure people are happy, and that includes buying the right things on my mom’s list.  That may mean 10 phone calls before I leave a store, but I’d rather go to another of the many Wal-mart stores to get the right thing instead of getting the wrong brand or wrong size. 

7.  Criminals are stupid.  Again, this isn’t a home lesson, but my dad and I have watched many episodes of the show “Cops.”  After one lady was told she was under arrest, she asked, “Do I have to go to jail?”  Um. Yes.  Another lady asked if they could go get a slushy on their way to jail because she was thirsty.  Um.  No.  My favorite, though, was when one guy had a medicine bottle with a lid that didn’t fit, and he said, “Someone must have come in and changed all my medicine lids!”  Um. Stupid.

8.  God has blessed me!  Now this isn’t really a new lesson, but being with my parents for the last two weeks has just deepened that lesson.  First, I’m blessed with a husband and two children who miss me but understand that I need to be here.  We’ve talked every day, texted too many times to count, and we’ve even skyped a couple of times so I can see their precious faces.  Second, I’ve been blessed with this time with my parents.  I see the strength that my mom has.  I do not know how she does all she does on her own.  But she never complains.  She always smiles.  She always gives.  I see how both of my parents still rely on God.  Dad can’t see as well as he used to when he read his Bible through every year.  But now he listens to it on his iPad.  (King James Version with a British accent isn’t so bad!)  Their Godly heritage has been passed to their children and their grandchildren.

I realize that not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have such Godly parents, and that saddens me.  However, if you are fortunate enough to still have your parents, stop what you’re doing and call them.  Just let them know you’re thinking about them and love them.  I may never get a chance to be home with my parents by myself again for this length of time.  But I will always remember these two weeks and the sweet parents God has given me. 

Meetings and Data and Students! Oh My!

            This is my 18^th year to be a teacher.  I’ve told many people that I am called to this profession just as ministers are called to their professions.  When I think of other things I could do for a “job,” I can think of things that I can do, but it’s not the same as BEING a teacher for me.  But I’ve struggled as this year started.

            Education in Oklahoma is struggling.  Unfortunately, our Superintendent of Education has made decisions that have negatively affected our system.  I’m definitely not political.  It doesn’t matter what political party she is associated with or which one I am.  I am an educator, though, and I know that changing cut scores after an assessment or dismissing a testing company with no back-up plan in place are not wise decisions.  The lack of a good leader makes it difficult for teachers to do their jobs because we feel like we’re aiming at a constantly moving target.

            I am blessed to work in my school district.  Is it perfect?  No.  Is any district?  No.  I’m hearing more and more about the “best” districts having issues with teachers, parents, and students, and I realize that the grass isn’t always greener.  We seem to be data driven right now, though.  With me being an English teacher, numbers aren’t really my thing.  If I have to analyze one more set of numbers, I may pull my hair out!  I’d rather just teach, please.  J

            The start to this year has been busier than I think it ever has been.  We have more meetings to attend, more responsibilities in the classrooms, and it just seems like there is less time to do the things I love: collaboration with other English teachers and my team and actually developing the lessons I need to teach my students.

            So as the end of week four approached, I was done.  I was tired.  I was discouraged.  I was counting the years until retirement.

            Then Thursday happened.

            My students were learning root words.  The activity was to make flash cards with the root on the front.  The back would have the definition, two or three sample words, and an original sentence.  The students would generally list more than two or three words, so I just added the examples on the board.  I asked for a couple of students to share their sentence, and one student shared a sentence where he had used ALL the sample words we had listed.  It was on!  Many of the other students took that as a challenge.  They started listing more words and then trying to incorporate as many as they could in their sentence.  I admit that some of the sentences didn’t make as much sense as they should have, but the students were taking ownership.  Then I heard the words that changed my day and maybe my year.  One student said, “Wow!  We’re at school, and we’re having fun!  What happened?”  My co-teacher heard another one say, “This is my favorite class!”

            Those are words that will make a teacher’s heart sing!  They are the words we live to hear and often don’t.

            I’m not sharing this for any sort of praise or compliments.  I’m posting this as an encouragement for myself and my fellow educators.  When the meetings start to weigh heavy and the data is staggering, remember why we do what we do. It’s for that one student who gets the concept and challenges the rest of the students to own their learning.

            You know what?  I think I just may make it to retirement after all.

Here We Go Again!

            It is once again the night before school starts.  This will be the eighteenth time I’ve done a first day of school as a teacher, and I have a few thoughts.

            I am blessed to be a teacher.  I truly feel that God has called me to this profession.  Just as God called my husband to be a minister, I feel God called me to work with youth through the public school system.  Because I have followed God’s call in this profession, I feel He continues to bless me.  I do have hard days.  There are even some days I may want to quit.  But when I seriously think about other professions, I know I am where I am supposed to be.

            I am not the only one who thinks summer moved too fast.  I know when students come back tomorrow they will be more interested in what everyone did over the summer than how to read a passage of literature and analyze it.  If I’m ever going to be able to have that conversation, I must make a personal connection.  I need to build quality teacher/student relationships so we can work together to learn for the next 180 school days.

            Behind each student is a family.  Some of those families look a lot like mine: two parents, siblings, pets, middle class, etc.  Some of those families look nothing like I’ve ever experienced.  I must remember that some of these kids are coming from homes where there is no electricity on a regular basis or food every meal or even a stable roof over their head every night.  They may only be at school because it’s a safer place than home.  I must no judge but instead be ready to meet them where they are.

            I also have a family that is heading back to school and routines.  We need to be proactive in spending time together.  I need to remember that they still need me even when I am weary from my day.  I need to remember that they are more important than anything!

            As I look forward to tomorrow, here is my prayer.

            Dear Lord,

            Bless this school year.  Bless the 110 students you have entrusted to my care for this year.  Bless the parents and extended families who are associated with those students.  Bless the administrators who direct the teachers in making good decisions for these students.  And, dear Lord, please bless my own family.  Take care of them while they go to their own classrooms and their own jobs.  Bring us together in the evenings and weekends to continue to grow as a family and to grow in your grace.

            Amen.

Voices in My Head

                I grew up in a conservative, Christian, southern, strict, loving home.  There were times that one or the other parent would say something that I thought was just ridiculous.  I mean, they were old.  Right?  I remember thinking many times, “I’ll never say that to my child.”  Admit it.  We’ve all said that.  

 

                And then it happens.

                My son got his driver’s license this past year.  I remember telling him very soon after that banner day, “If you get a ticket, you’ll have to pay for it.”  Oh wait a minute!  Where’s my dad?  I just know that was his voice saying that!  But it was just the two of us.

                I remember once in my young adult life I shared with my mom some big bill I had to pay.  I had the money to pay it, but I was aggravated that I couldn’t spend that money on something a little more glamorous than a bill.  My mom said, “Well, at least you have the money to pay.”  Several years later, my husband and I had set some money aside only to have to spend it on an unexpected expense.  I heard a voice in the room say, “Well, at least you have the money to pay.”    Yes, I was channeling my mother this time.  I told her about it later.  Her response?  “Hey, you actually do listen to what I say.”  Yes, Mom, I do. 

                I think some of the most blessed conversations I had with my parents (and still have) are about God.  Being raised in the church gave a lot of openings to God being a part of the conversation.  It is that strong faith that they helped nurture that allows me to talk with my own children about God.  Those are the voices that I love to hear guiding me as I talk with my sons about what a great God we serve.

                I have to admit, though, that the best stories are when their voices came back to haunt them.  One of the things my dad said when something was broken or spilled was, “If you were watching what you were doing, that wouldn’t have happened.”  When my older brother brought home his soon-to-be fiancé to meet the family, my mom cooked a dinner any southerner would be proud to eat.  As we were getting things on the table, my dad began pouring tea.  Unfortunately, he spilled a glass.  I quickly said, “If you were watching what you were doing, that wouldn’t have happened.”  Both of my brothers’ jaws dropped and my dad just gave me “that look” and then continued cleaning.  When I went to tell him goodnight that evening, I said, “I’m sorry.”  He just grinned and said, “No you’re not.”  I admitted I’d been waiting a LONG time to be able to tell him that, and I figured I might not get in trouble with company.

                Another time my mom was telling me about some medical bill that they had to pay.  It was pretty large.  Since they are both retired, I was afraid she was telling me this because it was a financial burden.  So I asked if they had the money to pay it.  “Oh yeah, we have it.  I just didn’t want to spend it on that.”  I just calmly smiled and said, “Well, at least you have the money to pay.” 

                Yes, mom.  I really do listen.

               

"I Love My Life!"

               When Brandon was in kindergarten, we lived in Broken Bow, OK.  It was a small town where you interacted with many more people than you ever do in a big city.  One day, his teacher told me how Brandon just brightened her day.  She said he had a big smile on his face as he announced, “I LOVE MY LIFE!” 

                How easy it is for someone so young to declare that they love their life.  I mean how hard can it be?  They have everything handed to them.  They spend time with friends.  They play with toys and watch TV. Their hardest decision is which color to use for their picture. 

                Lately I’ve been thinking of Brandon’s excitement and exclamation.  I wondered if I could say, “I love my life” and mean it.  So I started looking at my life and analyzing it (something I’m sure Brandon didn’t do before he made his exclamation). 

First, I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.  Does that mean every day is flowers and butterflies?  No, but I know my life is His and He is looking out for me and loves me with an unconditional love.  Second, I’ve been married for 22 years to an amazing husband.  Kevin has seen the best and the worst in me and still loves me every single day.  He does so much for our family and even does the little things just to make my day.  I have two awesome sons.  I get compliments on both of them all the time.  Brandon is a fine Christian young man that has a heart for God and people.  Ryan is young Christian who loves everyone and makes us laugh every day.  I have a job that I can still say I love doing.  Teaching young people is my calling in life.  Yes, we also have a house and the stuff that goes in it.  And I feel blessed beyond measure with what God has entrusted us.  I have friends that continually help me on this road of life and make me a better person.

                Does all this mean, however, that I never worry or have bad days?  Absolutely not.  Things break down.  Bills come due sooner than we need them to.  Sometimes my husband and I have differing opinions on what should be done and how.  I think all parents have had days that they wish they could trade their kids in for someone else’s.  We have had those bad days.  We will have those bad days again.  

However, is that a reason to hate life and live in the lows?  NO!  Look at the good around you!  Look at the blessings God has given!  Take a deep breath and realize what a life you have.

I know I will endeavor to do a better job at this.  Even on the down days that I know will come, I will do my best to look out and proclaim with joyful abandon, “I LOVE MY LIFE!”

               

Inspiration

                I tend to procrastinate in some areas of my life.  I will get the job done…eventually.  I tend to do the jobs that involve other people first and then leave the things that personally affect me to the end.  Then, of course, I can come up with many excuses not to work on those things.

                Recently, I was talking to my parents as I do most Saturdays.  They live in Louisiana, and I’m in Oklahoma.  They look forward to my call, and I look forward to seeing how their week went.  You see, my dad has had many health issues over the years.  He has congestive heart failure and has been fighting prostate cancer for several years.  Earlier this year, he had gotten pretty weak. He was too weak to walk, so my mom, the ever faithful love of his life, would pull him in a chair where he needed to go.  He was able to get some home health visits and started some therapy.  He started getting stronger.  Then a bout with extra fluid caused a setback.  After taking care of that, he once again started progressing. 

                Mom purchased an elliptical that sits on the floor while he sits in his chair and pedals.  The therapist said he should  work his way up to 20 minutes a day.  It didn’t take him long before he was able to do the full 20 minutes.  While we were on the phone this past week, he did 25 minutes!  My dad!  The man who is currently battling bad health conditions exercised for 25 minutes!  Now I’m not saying he’s ready to run a marathon, but he is pushing himself to get stronger.  A benefit of this is his outlook on everything.  He smiles more and laughs more because he feels better.

                Now you may be wondering what that story has to do with me procrastinating.  Well, I am often heard saying that during the school year, I’m too busy to exercise.  This summer, I just put it off.  I felt if I couldn’t do a full 30 minutes to an hour of something then there was no use to start.  Then I talked to my dad.  If he can do it, so can I.  Today I started on the treadmill.  I didn’t win an award for speed or distance, but I started.  And I will continue.  When I feel the arms of life pulling at me to put it off, I will think of my dad.  Thanks, Dad, for being my inspiration!

I'll Pray for You

               The topic of prayer has been on my mind lately.  How often do we tell someone who is going through a rough patch, “I’ll pray for you”?  Isn’t that the right response as a Christian?  But then, how often do we follow through with that prayer?

                If I’m honest with myself, I say that with every intention of praying diligently for that person.  I usually do send up a quick prayer after our conversation for their specific request, but then I may or may not pray about that specific request again.  So is that enough?

                In our first pastorate, there was a lady named Goldie.  Yes, Goldie.  She was an elderly lady who had seen a lot in life.  We talked about prayer one day, and this is what she told me.  You only have to ask God once.  If you give it to God, it’s His.  He doesn’t need to be reminded repeatedly because he doesn’t forget.  So pray and leave it alone.

                Wow! Pray and leave it alone?  You mean I don’t have to ask Him every day until He answers prayers MY way?  Oh wait a minute.  Was that a Freudian slip?  Am I praying continually because he hasn’t answered it MY way?  Maybe He has answered it.  Maybe the answer is no or wait, and I’m still waiting on his yes. 

                I don’t know that there is one way to pray.  I do know if I’ve taken something back that I can’t handle, I need to leave it at His feet again.  I also know, however, that God’s memory is perfect.  He doesn’t need me to keep reminding him of how I want the prayer answered.

                Back to my first question, though.  How often do we tell people we will pray for them, and do we actually do it?  I will be a woman of my word.  If you ask me to pray about something, I will.  I will take your petition to God’s throne and leave it with him.  I will also pray that He gives you peace about the situation until the answer is clear.  As you come to my mind, I will send up more prayers that God’s presence will be felt in your life.  I will pray for you! 

To Have a Pet or Not Have a Pet? That is the Question.

                Yesterday Ryan got on a tangent about having a pet.  This came on the heels of his “first pet,” a grasshopper, dying.  The only reason he had that was it was crawling across my laptop while I was working.  I nearly screamed but then caught it in a plastic container so he could see it.  He wanted to keep it, but we didn’t feed it.  I know, I know.  I should have fed the grasshopper.

                Several days before he had asked, “Mom, if you HAD to have a pet, what would you want?”  I told him if I HAD to have one, I would probably want a small dog.  He turned that into mom wants a small dog.  However, we have had these discussions before.  You see, I don’t want a pet.  We’ve tried having pets.

                I had fish in college.  They were harmless, except when you had to clean the bowl.  I didn’t like that. 

                Then Kevin and I decided to adopt a cat when we moved to our first pastorate.  We had decided to put off having kids for a little while, so we adopted Rev. Ike to move into the parsonage with us.  (Yes, that was his name at the shelter.)  Not long after we adopted him, I got pregnant.  When Brandon came along, I didn’t want the cat anywhere near the baby.  I didn’t care if they were old wives tales, I wasn’t taking any chances.  I had to chase that cat everywhere trying to get it into the laundry room where it had food and toys and such.  But we decided that was no life for a cat, so we gave it to one of Kevin’s cousins.

                During our second pastorate, a vet attended our church and said he had a dog I should come see.  He said if he couldn’t find a home, it would have to take a walk over the rainbow bridge.  I looked, and I fell in love.  There were actually two, a brother and a sister.  That day they came home with us.  We named the girl Happy.  She was very happy to come home with me. (She even put her head on my shoulder as I drove her home.)  We named the boy Lucky because he was just lucky I took two dogs.  Then it began.  Not only did they sleep all day and bark all night, but they started digging holes.  Now even I know that dogs dig.  But these dogs were DIGGING!  I mentioned it to the vet, and he just said that’s what dogs do.  Then he came by the house.  Even he was surprised at the size of the holes in our backyard.  I told those silly dogs they were digging their own graves because they were deep enough for me to push them in and cover them up.  So the dogs had to go. 

                We did fish again for a little while.  I don’t think any of us were overly crazy about them, though.

                Now we fast forward to several years later.  Ryan wants a pet.  And he wants one now!  In fact, we had to finally tell him to not mention the word pet or animal again yesterday.  He was over the top!

                So what do we do?  Neither Kevin nor I really want an inside pet.  Our yard isn’t huge, but we do have a small garden, so we don’t want something that’s going to dig it up.  Does every kid NEED a pet?  Are we denying him something that will send him to therapy in future years?  Or is this just another tangent of a seven-year-old?

                What do you think? 

                P.S. Before you start making suggestions about exotic things or birds or gerbils, the answer is no.  J

I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream for Ice Cream

I Scream, You Scream, We all Scream for Ice Cream

                The other day I had scheduled a play date for my seven-year-old.  The other mom had wanted to get together to chat, so we planned to meet at a local restaurant with a play area.  The kids could play, and we could chat.  Well, I must have had an early senior moment because I just thought I had scheduled the date.  I had scheduled it in my head while we were on vacation but was going to check the calendar when I got back.  I never sent her the final okay message.  So we show up, Ryan starts playing, and then I check my messages and realize we had never confirmed.   I sent her a message and we scheduled for later in the week.  After telling my son my mistake, I told him he could play for a while anyway.

                When we got in the van, Ryan told me he was very sad about missing out on the play date.  I assured him it would happen later in the week and apologized for the mix-up.  I then heard him say, “Maybe we could go to Braums or Pink Swirls.  Ice cream would make me feel better.”  I quickly said, “We don’t turn to food to make us feel better.”  When asked why, I said it wasn’t a healthy way to live.

                Ugh!
                Double Ugh!

                This was an issue that I’ve been struggling with most of my life!  And my son just made me state the truth!  Out loud!  Now what?  My son never forgets anything.  So I sure can’t use this as a reason to go anywhere with him again.   What’s going to happen the next time I’m sad, or mad, or feeling down?  I have often said to myself, “I deserve this.  It’s been a rough day, and I made it!  I deserve a reward!”  I’ve even done the reverse.  “I’m so happy; I’m going to celebrate with a ___!” (Fill that blank in with whatever my recent craving had been). 

                But now I have told my son that doing that isn’t the healthy way to deal with our emotions.  I shouldn’t tell him one thing and live another.  I don’t know when the next rough patch will hit or when I’m going to be beyond happy and feel I deserve a treat.  However, I do know that my son’s words will forever be in the back of my mind, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll turn to my family and friends for the encouragement, support, and praise that I need.

Welcome to My Journey

As I start out on my journey of blogging, I would like to invite you to join me. My life has so many paths. There are so many things I am interested in, that I decided not to focus on just one particular topic. I want to explore this journey. I want to see what rabbit trails it leads me down.

I am a Christian, wife, mother, teacher, and probably a few other titles.

If you choose to follow my blog, be prepared to hear about God. I believe God created us.  I believe He sent his Son to die for us. I am a Christian, and I will not apologize for that.

I have been married to Kevin for 22 years! I can hardly believe it has been that long! He is my best friend, and I can honestly say the love of my life! He is a hospice chaplain and former pastor. His love for people is amazing.  Our marriage is not perfect but whose is?  We decided early on in our relationship, however, that we would work through the hard times.  Together.  Forever.  I know that is why we do have a strong marriage.

I have two wonderful boys Brandon (16) and Ryan (7). They are so fun! I love being their mom. I’m sure that they will show up in my blogging journey (maybe more often than they would like).

I teach middle school English, but that doesn’t mean I’ll never make a grammatical error. I’m not even offended when others point out my mistakes.  People usually look at me like I’m crazy for teaching middle school, but I can honestly say, I love my job. 

I love spending time with my family, reading, cross-stitching, watching TV, and scrapbooking.  Now I want to add blogging to my list!

My blog may seem scattered or unfocused for some. Just remember my main idea: Journeys. Each area of my life is part of that journey.  I hope you will join me and even let me know how your journey is going!