"But or "And"

“But” or “And”

            I’m an English teacher so writing is just a tiny bit important to my job.  I teach 8^th graders and they just love it!  (By the way, they learn the word sarcasm very quickly in my class).  When they are writing, we work on run-on sentences by combining them with commas and conjunctions.  I tell them, however, that they must pick the right conjunction.  For example, let’s look at the following.

            He bought the batteries for the remote. They were the wrong size.

You would obviously want to join those with the word “but” to show that the batteries are not going to fit.

            He bought the batteries for the remote, but they were the wrong size.

            It starts out positive but then moves to negative.  Choosing the right conjunction is important.  You are probably wondering why in the world I am boring you with an 8^th grade English lesson.  It’s because this lesson has taken on a whole new meaning lately.

            A couple of weeks ago, my husband came home with news that his hours had been cut at work.  Of course, this had to be the day after we toured the college where my son will attend and we saw the bottom line of costs.  (God does have impeccable timing – and a sense of humor).  I’ve been a Christian for many years, but I still went into panic mode.  “What are we going to do?”  “Why us?”  “Why now?”  “God?  Really?”

            Over the next several days a conversation continued between me and God.  I would start with one of my panic-filled questions.  I would feel this soft answer of, “Be still and know that I am God.”  I would begin to answer, “I know, but…”  And HE would interrupt my sentence, and say, “Be still and know that I am God.”  So I would just shut up.  Other times I would start to talk to him, and I could feel him telling me that it was going to be okay because he had it all under control.  I would begin to say, “I know you do, but…” And again, HE would interrupt and tell me, “I know what I am doing, and everything will be okay.”

            Do you see the importance of the conjunction?  When I started my sentence with a positive and then inserted “but,” I negated everything I had just said.  I gave God a compliment and then took it away by saying “but.”  God started his sentence with a positive and used “and” which connected his two positives.

            Which do I want?  Which do I need?  A positive which is taken away by my own negative thinking?  Or why not try it God’s way?  I could use a couple of positives! 

 Lessons from Home 

            Four and a half weeks ago, my sweet daddy had a flare up of his congestive heart failure and was taken to the hospital in the middle of the night.  That led to a three week stay between the hospital and a skilled care facility to get strong enough to come home.  I kept asking if I needed to come home, but my mama said she would need more help when she brought him home.  So I waited. 

            I’ve been at home with them almost two weeks now.  I count it a blessing to be able to take the days off work and for my own family understanding that I’m needed here for a couple of weeks.  I thought I’d share a few lessons from home as an adult child helping out the parents.

 1.   There is no schedule.  Well, I guess there are points in the day that have a schedule.  We know when the various therapists are coming in, but that’s about it.  When we were growing up, daddy had to get up at 4:30 a.m. to go to work, so we were in bed or close to it at 9:00 p.m.  Since no one has to get up at a certain time now, it may be midnight or after before the parents go to bed.  Of course, if the therapist is coming in the morning, there may or may not be sleeping in.  You want to know when meals are served?  Whenever.  They make up names for the times that meals are served.  They’ve always called the midday meal dinner and the evening meal supper.  There is now a dupper.  It’s kind of like brunch since it combines two meals, but it’s around 3:00 or so.  Retired people have a relaxed time schedule.  This girl who lives by a schedule has had to learn to just go with the flow.  

2.  Staying up late makes us all a little silly.  We get tickled at the silliest things, and when mom and I both start laughing, we BOTH snort!  Of course, that makes us laugh even harder.

3.  Be careful.  I’ve been running errands for mom and dad just about every day.  Every time I leave, they both tell me, “Be careful.”  Dad said something about always telling me that, but I said, “I have a 16-year-old who drives now.  I get it.  You can tell me to be careful all you want.” 

4.  Love is in the air.  My dad is 83 and my mom is 71.  They have been married for 52 years.  They still look at each other and say, “I love you” many times throughout the day. 

5.  All Wal-mart stores are not created equal.  I know this isn’t really a “home” lesson, but I have been in 3 different large Wal-mart stores and 3 Neighborhood Markets.  They are not all laid out the same. 

6.  Shopping is harder than it looks.  I am a people pleaser.  I want to make sure people are happy, and that includes buying the right things on my mom’s list.  That may mean 10 phone calls before I leave a store, but I’d rather go to another of the many Wal-mart stores to get the right thing instead of getting the wrong brand or wrong size. 

7.  Criminals are stupid.  Again, this isn’t a home lesson, but my dad and I have watched many episodes of the show “Cops.”  After one lady was told she was under arrest, she asked, “Do I have to go to jail?”  Um. Yes.  Another lady asked if they could go get a slushy on their way to jail because she was thirsty.  Um.  No.  My favorite, though, was when one guy had a medicine bottle with a lid that didn’t fit, and he said, “Someone must have come in and changed all my medicine lids!”  Um. Stupid.

8.  God has blessed me!  Now this isn’t really a new lesson, but being with my parents for the last two weeks has just deepened that lesson.  First, I’m blessed with a husband and two children who miss me but understand that I need to be here.  We’ve talked every day, texted too many times to count, and we’ve even skyped a couple of times so I can see their precious faces.  Second, I’ve been blessed with this time with my parents.  I see the strength that my mom has.  I do not know how she does all she does on her own.  But she never complains.  She always smiles.  She always gives.  I see how both of my parents still rely on God.  Dad can’t see as well as he used to when he read his Bible through every year.  But now he listens to it on his iPad.  (King James Version with a British accent isn’t so bad!)  Their Godly heritage has been passed to their children and their grandchildren.

I realize that not everyone is as fortunate as I am to have such Godly parents, and that saddens me.  However, if you are fortunate enough to still have your parents, stop what you’re doing and call them.  Just let them know you’re thinking about them and love them.  I may never get a chance to be home with my parents by myself again for this length of time.  But I will always remember these two weeks and the sweet parents God has given me. 

I'll Pray for You

               The topic of prayer has been on my mind lately.  How often do we tell someone who is going through a rough patch, “I’ll pray for you”?  Isn’t that the right response as a Christian?  But then, how often do we follow through with that prayer?

                If I’m honest with myself, I say that with every intention of praying diligently for that person.  I usually do send up a quick prayer after our conversation for their specific request, but then I may or may not pray about that specific request again.  So is that enough?

                In our first pastorate, there was a lady named Goldie.  Yes, Goldie.  She was an elderly lady who had seen a lot in life.  We talked about prayer one day, and this is what she told me.  You only have to ask God once.  If you give it to God, it’s His.  He doesn’t need to be reminded repeatedly because he doesn’t forget.  So pray and leave it alone.

                Wow! Pray and leave it alone?  You mean I don’t have to ask Him every day until He answers prayers MY way?  Oh wait a minute.  Was that a Freudian slip?  Am I praying continually because he hasn’t answered it MY way?  Maybe He has answered it.  Maybe the answer is no or wait, and I’m still waiting on his yes. 

                I don’t know that there is one way to pray.  I do know if I’ve taken something back that I can’t handle, I need to leave it at His feet again.  I also know, however, that God’s memory is perfect.  He doesn’t need me to keep reminding him of how I want the prayer answered.

                Back to my first question, though.  How often do we tell people we will pray for them, and do we actually do it?  I will be a woman of my word.  If you ask me to pray about something, I will.  I will take your petition to God’s throne and leave it with him.  I will also pray that He gives you peace about the situation until the answer is clear.  As you come to my mind, I will send up more prayers that God’s presence will be felt in your life.  I will pray for you!